.the Giant Bitch and the Queen Slut.

The holidays is finally here and honestly… I CANNOT WAIT!

I have great plans for this hols… the Giant Bitch and I are going to take China down by the storm! We are going to partee and drink like there’s no tomorrow (basically taking our present drinking habits to a new location). The Queen Slut and I are also going to run away to Phuket on a “little something-something” trip. It is going to be legen… wait for it… DARY! Hahaha! I have been watching too much How I Met Your Mother lately, Barney is just Awe…wait for it some more… SOME! Alright alright, I must be annoying.

Anyways, the Giant Bitch and the Queen Slut have both come to occupy a huge part of my life.

I have known the Giant Bitch for over 9 years and I am glad we still care about the same things, we still have the same hobbies (we have recently started playing volleball together with the gays), and most importantly, we still love doing the same things (drink drink drink!). A few weeks back, the Giant Bitch and I found a new drinking hole at Toa Pa Yoh’s HDB hub. The place is great for old people drinking (quiet enough), for people who still get school money from their parents (cheap enough), for people who love inhaling some bad air (the area where all the action takes place is always empty and there’s a comfortable sofa there) AND for drinking after a hard game of volleyball (because we love drinking in our smelly exercise outfits). The Giant Bitch is great because she is my anytime-friend. Should I need company to do ANYTHING, I will text the Giant Bitch because I know she’s always up for work and fun.

On the other hand, the Queen Slut and I are quite an odd pairing.  The Queen is tall, while I am what many would say, a midget of the 21^st century. I have come to know almost all of the Queen’s friends and whenever we hang out, I stand out like a sore thumb – being the only Chinese in a group of 10+ Indians. The Queen is a huge fan of Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and anything heavy metal, while I prefer the powerful belts of Celine Dion and Faith Hill. Despite our many differences, we have recently found out that we are GREAT at concerts together! Before each concert, we would drink ourselves to a state of delirium; once we are satisfied that we are truly off our minds (ready to do embarassing things without feeling embarrassed), we would run to the concert venue with our rocker outfits. Being small, I will always wiggle us to the front of the stage where we will both scream and sing our hearts out. So far, we have been to three concerts together and after every concert, I would always leave bruised and without a voice. The Queen would always proudly whatsapp me pictures of her battle scars. Currently, the Queen and I are preparing to go for Air Supply this May. It is going to be another krazy night.

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I heart them both!