A little update…

What I have been up to in the Holy Land…

1) The lazy mornings

Now that I have so much time on my hands (seeing how I only go to school twice a week), I spend most mornings sprawling like a cat in bed. It’s only when the sun rays become almost unbearable for me to ignore will I regretfully drag myself to the kitchen to make my standard breakfast in Israel- two slices of peanut butter toast and a cup of Israeli coffee.

C’est la vie!

2) The runs in the park

I am totally in love with the park near my apartment. In fact, I have to say that besides my room, I spend most of my time in the park. It is not so much the facilities in the park that are amazing but the energy of the people that are there exercising that is just extremely motivating and inspiring.

The park is always crowded with people, no matter what time you go. There would be the really serious hard-core runners with their heartbeat monitors on and would do laps on end… which works for me because I would try to pace them. There would also be women in their pretentious tight fitting exercise outfits with shorts that barely cover their butt cheeks strutting around the track… which also works for me because every time I ran past them, I would turn around and snigger (got matchy-matchy slutty exercise outfit so what huhhuhhuh). Of course, there would be the fat and obese people who are trying to lose weight, brisk walking around the park… that worked for me too because I ran even faster thinking that I would end up like them if I don’t… Eek!

3) Clubbing

I have yet to have an AMAZING clubbing experience here in Israel. Most of the parties that I went to were only fun for about an hour, after which it just got boring and sleazy. The Israelis love their music trance or electronic… both of which I am often not drunk enough to appreciate.

As the Queen Slut was partying like a rock star in Tel Aviv, I was busy travelling Jerusalem and Turkey. After every party, the Queen Slut would whatsapp me the details of her making out experiences, the near death/rape situations she encountered and the awesome underground clubs that she went to. I would in turn share with her stories about the oily but oh-so-delicious food I ate, the out-of-the-world nargile (sheesha) I had in Turkey and the Turkish men who fed me food and tea and offered to bring me to French restaurants to wine and dine. I even had a conversation with a guy who insisted that I have “kus-kus” (sex) with him because according to him, if you don’t have “kus-kus” for 3 months, you will climax very easily. To which I replied… where’s the fun in that?

4) Middle eastern men

Men here are easy peasy. Actually correction, men everywhere are easy! You smile at them, they buy you drinks. You have a conversation with them and they will drive you to after parties . After a while though, it gets tiring because there will always be times when you are stuck in a boring conversation that you are just dying to get out of but can’t because he is your free ride home. It isn’t easy to make genuine friends here because 9 out of 10 times, they just want to fuck you.

5) The food

The one thing that surprised me was how much I have become dependent on aubergines as my staple food choice. People here eat aubergines with everything! Aubergines with rice. Aubergines in their bread. Aubergines baked with chicken/beef/lamb. Aubergines with mashed potato. You get the drift!

 

With the amount of high-cholesterol food and oil that I chuck down my throat every day, I am pretty much living on the edge.

There is absolutely nothing HOLY about this Holy Land!

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